8-09-04

So I'm taking a nerd class called "Anime and Manga". I figured it'd be a fun class where I'd watch some anime and read a bit of manga, and everything would be nice and fun. When I walked into my class on the first day I knew I was in trouble when a guy was playing a fan made Anime Music Video(!) to the song "That's your horoscope for today" by Weird Al Yankovik. Clips upon clips of the goofiest trappings that anime has to offer, such as giant sweat shops, people falling over because they're so shocked/angry/aroused, and people getting comically punched for doing nothing, all to the tune of the dorkiest of musical acts. The guy in question was wearing eye glasses from the seventies, had an unshaven beard, a greased, combed badly, haircut, and a skin tight babylon 5 shirt tucked into his belted slacks. I literally stopped walking and stared at him in incredulous disbelief. I have only read about such nerdness. His presence stupefied me as I slowly made my way a seat, only to be sandwiched later between a bleached blond kid with a lumpy face who swore up and down Spielburg NEVER made a good movie, and then proceeded to wax philosophically about "Ah My Goddess" and tentacle porn, and a guy who is a year older than me that I'm pretty sure went to my high school. I winced when he told the teacher he's checked all the comic shops in town "from New World and The Grey Knight in the city and The Wizards Tower in Norman" and none of them had "the original, unspoiled Astro Boy #1" however he did say he spent the money he was going to use to buy the comic on "a bunch of first edition Magic Cards I had to have." This specific nerd had his back pack in his lap, and when he spoke it would jingle with a strange noise. I finally located the source after it started to get on my nerves. In the see through pouch of his bag was a plentiful supply of twenty sided dice. Apparently he was worth his weight in Gelvings.

There was certainly many other nerd stereotypes represented there. There was the really fat guy with a long butt crack pony tail and glasses that would only make "Mystery Science Theater" style comments about other peoples conversations because no one wants to talk to him. Also, the really loud annoying dork girl who had to tell the professor about every anime and manga she'd ever read.

I'd say about 60% of the class was nerd. 20% were Japanese girls that couldn't speak English, but that didn't stop the HUGE fanboys from hitting on them in Japanese they'd learned by watching anime. The last 20% were "normal people" who probably got in the class simply because it was open. How do I know this? The 20% is made up of two female urban stereotypes and a quiet girl. When I asked the quiet girl during a break if she liked the anime we were watching (Metropolis) she said she's never seen any anime before so she wasn't sure how good it was. The last of the "normal people" was the most out of place 40 year old Indian guy I've ever seen, I don't think he speaks English either, but that didn't stop him from looking completely bewildered by all of the nerds. Nerds must be internationally recognizable.

Never in my years of education have I been in a majority nerd class. I know I'm pretty nerdy, but this was too much for even me to handle. It felt like a super nerd training camp where only the nerdiest will be allowed to carry out secret nerd missions. And you know how nerds are typically the ones in class to answer questions in long winded horrible ways? Well imagine about 30 of them, and they all have to put in their two cents.

I don't know how long I'll last...

Josiah Jarrett